“My heart is sick of woe.” -Anne Bronte

Getting older. It’s been interesting. My metabolism has decreased. It’s harder to multitask and to remember my to-do’s without a list. I can’t eat what I used to, and I don’t feel as strong. But the greatest change has been unexpected.

I realized just this week that age has made me kind of…weary. I used to have a sense, an innate intuition that people were good, and most people want to do what’s right. I used to firmly believe that when people were unkind or selfish, it was out of fear or ignorance or insecurity. I thought if I could understand people, for the most part, I could see their goodness.

I still believe this often. However,…

Every once in a while, I encounter a person who is just not good. He might enjoy one-upping others. She might find it funny when others are suffering simply because she’s not.

These people throw me off my game. I can’t anticipate their next move. I can’t empathize with them because I can’t think the way they do. I don’t even want to. But I see them win and pummel good people in their way, and it makes me angry. And weary.

I knew that aging would mean gray hair and flabby arms. But I did not anticipate this sadness at the ugly side of humanity.

I look at my parents. They are in their 80’s and are so zen about life. They live in the now, and they see the ugliness, but they get past it, and they don’t let it get to them.

I look forward to that next stage.

6 thoughts on ““My heart is sick of woe.” -Anne Bronte

  1. I stopped reading a book club selection (Colson Whiteheads’s Underground Railroad) because man’s inhumanity to man is so graphic and overwhelming in it. And, because I work with needy, sometimes traumatized young people, I need to fill up my aging bones and mind with hope and good stuff. Yes, there are mean people. And I have to make myself focus on the bigger percentage of those who are not really mean, just distracted maybe — and some truly shine. Hope you find peace.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I want to believe the best in people, but I also find it hard sometimes. I do think that fear, ignorance, insecurity, and all the other products of a hard life drive most “bad” behavior, but I also think that today’s society at times condones and even encourages such behaviors. I don’t want to sound old and crotchety, but much that was once considered wrong is now considered a right. It’s okay to be that way, and I “need” to respect those choices because we all have the right to make our own choices. Society no longer moderates as it once did.

    All that said, there is still so much good in the world. I’m encouraged every time I see an act of kindness. Thanks for your post!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. True. I was just speaking with a friend about the Twitter fight between Mr Trump and Mr Biden. These are our leaders!
      With that said, I try to remember what Mr Rogers said. When horrible things happen, look for the helpers. There are always good people doing what is right, and I just need to focus on them.

      Like

  3. An amazingly reflective slice. The inherent message, to me, seems to be your embracing life in all of its stages with not wasting precious time and energy on negativity. Life’s too short … and I admire your great empathy for others. Although this is what leads to wearying you, it’s a wonderful, abiding trait to have.

    Liked by 1 person

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